It rained most of the day today*. I can hear the tree frogs and bullfrogs outside singing their summer serenade. Tonight it just sounds like sadness to me, because my cousin (who was like a brother to me growing up) died today*. He had four biological children and a stepchild that all lived with him. A pending divorce, a lost job, financial trouble and his life-long struggle with depression finally culminated today into a suicide. I can only pray that he is forgiven and safe in the arms of Jesus right now. I know he called his sister after he shot himself and even talked about his funeral with her. My heart aches because I can not be there for my nieces, my mother, my aunt, and my cousins. They are back home in Texas.
… and because of the other bomb we had dropped in our lap today, we are unable to travel back for his funeral…
Within the same thirty minutes that my mom called to tell me about my cousin, my husband also got news that his long-term temporary job here in Arkansas is ending this week. I have four days to pack our entire apartment and move back to Texas… and from there, we really aren’t sure when and where we will go next. I know that wherever we go, we’ll be in good hands… God’s hands. Hopefully this time next week I’ll know something a little more certain. The only thing I’m certain of right now is a crazy week of packing, a busy weekend of moving, and a whole lot of grief as I try to grasp the fact that I’ll never see my cousin again. His little girls are crying themselves to sleep tonight*.
I urge you to listen to the frogs, smell the flowers, run in the rain and play in the puddles… hug your loved ones… be kind to others who may be struggling with the weight of the world on their backs (like my cousin was)… and treasure every moment you have.
Pray for our extended family and for us if the Lord brings us to your mind. I’ll try and check in as we ride the whirlwind through this week…
https://youtube.com/watch?v=x0hZ6z7Za7Y
* I wrote this post before midnight… but these events happened in the late afternoon, Monday 6/18/07.
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Buzz Words: Christian, Death, Loss, Grief, Changes, Moving, Life, Sadness, Sorrow, Faith, Bad News, Family, Home, Personal, Prayer
Monique says
Oh Sprittibee…I have just a huge ball of sadness inside that leaves me searching for words! I ache for your cousin and his children! I just am so so sad for you! I will pray.
Kelly - PTT says
Oh my…
You’re all in my thoughts and prayers…
Anonymous says
I’ve been lurking here for quite a while but have never posted. I just wanted to let you know that you and your family, your cousin and his family are all in my prayers.
Thank you for sharing the YouTube video. Hope you don’t mind if I pass it on to some I know who need that reminder.
Praying,
Delaina
Mrs says
Dear One, I am so, so sorry. This is such a blow. . .I’m so thankful you know the One who is surprised by none of this.
Praying for you, even now.
JoAnna
Jessie says
Many prayers.
Bunny Trails says
Oh my goodness. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but I’m ever grateful that our Heavenly Father is there with you, being everything you need. He will never leave you nor forsake you.
The video was perfect.
Still praying,
love,
dianne 🙂
rich glasgow says
Heather…I’m so sorry to hear all that about your family and Kevin’s job. There has been a lot of rain, it seems. I’ll be praying for your entire family. No doubt you’ve got many many friends who will be praying and pulling for you as well.
Anonymous says
thanks for sharing your heart. please know i am praying for you and your family. i am certain He will use you to be a voice of hope and encouragement to your family and friend in texas during this very difficult time. perhaps this is one of the reasons for your husband’s job ending. the great news is that He will provide exactly what your immediate family needs.
“Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lam. 3:32
jtcosby says
So sorry. Sending Love and Prayers!
Jacque says
Praying for you, my dear friend!
God holds it all in the palm of his hand…
surely you are safe.
Blessings!
-J
Ami says
I’m so sorry for all of this pain and stress. Rest in His arms, even while you work hard to pack and move.
Wendy says
I am so sorry to hear of your loss and the unexpected sudden end to your husband’s job all at once!
I am praying for you and your family as you have to pack up and move so quickly!
Thank you for sharing the video!
Read through Psalm 91 and know that the Lord will be our refuge and our strength in all circumstances if we will only let Him!
Lifting in love to the heavenly Father,
Wendy
Fiddledeedee (It Coulda' Been Worse) says
Heather,
My prayers are with you, my friend. I know your heart must be breaking. I cannot imagine what his children must be going through. I will pray for them as well.
My Boaz's Ruth says
I take it this is NOT the way you wanted to move back to Texas?
*Hugs* God is with you. I’m sorry it had to be this way though.
Sheri says
I am so sorry about your cousin.
And, so happy for you. I am sure you are completely stressed and confused, but all I can think is “God answered her prayers”, how many times over the last year have I read your comments about being back in your great home state!
You are in our prayers.
Alexandra says
Prayers of comfort and healing to you and your family, especially his girls.
sprittibee says
Kelly – Thank you.
Delaina – Thanks for the prayers. I do love that song.
Mrs. – Thank you for the prayers.
Jessie – Thanks.
Dianne – Thank you.
Thanks, Rich.
Anonymous – It is a sad thing to not be able to get back home BEFORE the tragedy, but I was glad to get to see my family afterwards. It has been an emotional week. Thank you for the verse, it was perfect.
Thanks Jtcosby.
Thank you Jacque.
Thanks Ami.
Wendy – Thanks for the scripture reference. It was a whirlwind week and has been another one following it so far… and another to come. While we are in transit and not sure where we’ll settle down, it will be a little difficult. I’m putting my hope in the promise that perseverance produces hope… and we are plodding along one step at a time.
Thanks, DeeDee. I appreciate the prayers. Thank you for praying for his girls.
MBR – No, this isn’t the way, but I’m glad to be home regardless. When are you on your way down this direction?
Sheri – Thank you for your prayers. Maybe you can return home to your beloved state some time in the future, too. I certainly know how being away from home for a long time feels.
Alexandra – 🙂 Thank you.
Patricia says
Oh, Heather! I am so sorry. I’m taking a few minutes this morning to catch up on blogging friends I have neglected lately and your blog is the first one I’ve come to. I’m so glad I read your more recent posts and know that Kevin has a job now and things are looking much brighter, and that y’all are back in Texas. You are loved BIGGIE bunches! Patricia