Seventeen years ago, I was just a girl… a wife… a woman. One little boy changed all that for me. He made me a parent, a guardian, a mother. I had no idea someone so tiny could change your life and your world like he did.
How do you sum up a life that came into existence through your own? He’s a miracle – a child of God – and somehow I got to be the lucky one who was trusted to raise him. I often wonder if I’ve been enough – done enough – hugged enough – taught enough… but I have always loved him with every fiber of my being.
Now I stand here looking up at this nearly full grown man, knowing that my time is short for “the way we are”… knowing that one day, he’ll be faced with difficulties, temptations, losses, heartache, persecution, and other horrible things that I can’t protect him from. It breaks a mama down to tears.
Whatever he does and where ever he goes in his life, I pray that I’ve done the job of teaching him two things well:
1. To love and imitate Christ, not man. To serve and love Him with all his heart, soul, strength, & mind.
and…
2. No matter how big he gets or what he does, no matter where he goes or how much space or time separates us from each other, that I will always love him… and he’ll always be my little boy.
What a sweet gift these 17 years have been; a blink in this fast life. Just yesterday he was four years old, telling me he wished he could be on a “heart-shaped cloud” with me. My little deep-thinker. My romantic. What a fun job to raise a child that loves the world and other people so. He’s made every lesson a delightful adventure (well, besides math). Ha!
I pray he keeps the sense of wonder that has been one of my favorite things about him since he was little. Just today he was going on and on about planets and moons in outer space and yesterday he used the word duodecahedron correctly in context (I didn’t even know this was a word). He’s way beyond me, light-years ahead, in understanding the natural world… and I smile knowing that God has been teaching him just what he needed to know from the start (sometimes in spite of me).
Two more years and we’re done with school. He’ll be heading out to build his own future. College, probably… and a career… marriage… fatherhood. I’ll soon be sitting on the sidelines, watching to see how he navigates the seas of destiny… watching to see where the Lord takes my little boy.
I pray Numbers 6:24-26 for his life:
The Lord bless you
and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.
His name means “companion” and “friend”. I pray the Lord is His companion and friend always — and that his life is a blessing to all those who are lucky enough to be intertwined with his. I know I have been blessed.
Thank you for being such a good son.
Proverbs 23:15 ~ My son, if your heart is wise, my own heart will greatly rejoice. (ISV)
In Him,
This is beautiful, it made me tear up! I miss you all!
Yep. All of that. My boy is 19 going on 20.